Mess

I’ve been putting off this particular blog entry because I’m ashamed. But today, it was just too much. Just as a drug addict or an alcoholic must face their limitation and speak about it honestly, so must I.

I, my friends, am a messy cook.

Not messy in the same way that you see Bobby Flay or Tyler Florence or Giada DiLaurentis after they have cooked an entire meal, including appetizers and pomegranate appletinis (in which they used freshly pressed apple juice and real pomegranates). You might see them take a spotlessly clean cloth and wipe down a counter and toss out a few lemon or apple peelings, all the while smiling at the camera and proudly showing off their cleavage (well, at least Giada, and I’m not bitter).

I’m talking about flour spilling, eggs breaking on the counter, tea towels getting used to wipe up any multitude of messes. I’m talking cupboard doors remaining open, drawers sticking out for me to bump my knee into (which I invariably do), the garbage can filling up to nearly overflowing. I’m messy in the way that should draw health inspectors to my home when they learn that I am making dessert.

I’m afraid this photo doesn’t even show the extent of my problem. Perhaps it will be more meaningful if I admit that the only thing I made at the time this photo was taken was a simple pie crust. A pie crust. Not even the whole pie. Just the crust.

I think it’s important to talk about my problem because those of us who watch Food Network compulsively (and I must admit I do) often have unreal expectations. Like not spilling sugar on the floor. And not cussing.

I come from a family of good cooks. As I have mentioned, my mother was a very good cook who, from what I recall, neither showed cleavage nor made a dreadful mess. Both of my sisters and my brother are wonderful cooks, and I can say the same for them. I don’t really know why I’m the one who can’t move a cup of flour from the canister to a bowl without spilling it along the way.

Still, it’s the result that counts, and as long as I am willing to clean up my own mess, I guess I shouldn’t get too shook up about it all.

By the way, you should see my kitchen following Thanksgiving dinner!